Is There Life After Retirement?


Posted on: April 27, 2009

There is a wonderful site called “Six Sentences” where the challenge is to tell a story in exactly six sentences.  Very challenging and a good writing exercise.  I did this one last last year:

He paced the length of the stage, ebony hair falling in tendrils around his shoulders, forest green Calcutta tunic matching the intensity and color of his eyes as he pitched the secrets of healing and salvation.

“Do you think this guy’s for real?” the boy next to her whispered in a voice that’s never really low enough and always an unwanted interruption.

Ignoring the question, she tried to focus on the man’s practical explanation of chakras but was drawn instead to the bearing of this enigmatic, self-proclaimed healer – gently intelligent yet unnervingly masculine – and so very handsome.

“He probably does this just to hook up with women,” her cynical young row mate snickered.

Pretending those thoughts had never occurred to her, she tossed the boy an “of course not” scowl and returned her attention to the speaker.

Seeing that he was looking directly at her, she quickly her lowered head, afraid that the flush of her cheeks would reveal she was totally and irrevocably smitten.

2 Responses to "Drawn"

Oh you were smitten all right. And so was I, and the girl next to me, and her friend too for all that. And what is that called? Group smitten? Schmitten ze doich? Da Kine smittn’? Kittens smittened? Once you get past the beauty, you can realize the beautiful message….which is really much more important.

It’s funny to read this post a few years later. This was based on a kernel of truth, but was fictionalized for fun.

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  • Joyce Burke: This was great too read
  • Debbie: I'm with miracarroll--it's your story, so create however you want. Leave the rest of us wondering which of the (mis)adventures are real, which might b
  • miracarroll: Marti, surely the people in your life are wise enough to know (especially after you say it) that you're a writer and in fiction, everything is fair ga
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