I’m pretty sure this is just going to be marginally edited, non-premeditated writing – the purpose of which isn’t so much to tell you my opinions than it is for me to figure out what they are.

When I saw that bin Laden had been killed, my first reaction was surprise. Followed by a sense of relief.  Followed by something a little more disturbing and confused.  Watching people celebrate didn’t feel quite right for some reason.  And it’s not that I’m sorry he’s dead – I’m not sorry at all.  His existence encouraged unbelievable pain and suffering in this world so goodbye already.    Then what was so unsettling?  I spent a few minutes trying to understand what wasn’t setting right with me.

From the perspective of tangible human drama, it was easy to see what was off for me – This is not 1945 and al-qaeda are not the Nazis.  They don’t march in goose stepping perfect rows, all regimented and proud.  They are intentionally opaquely ferreted away in oblique configurations we refer to as cells.  And now they have a martyr.  So now what?   Am I waiting for that other shoe to drop? Hmmm…so the biggest part of my confused reaction was fear.

Another part of my reaction springs from not being a particularly vengeful person.  I’ve never been an “eye for an eye” type, unless that second eye could actually give vision to the one who lost the first.  I’m more from the “the best revenge is a life well lived” ilk.     Watching the revelers – who certainly had a right to celebrate the elimination of a man who had wreaked such havoc on us – made me realize that celebrating the death of our enemies is a pretty close dance, y’know?

The undertone of my reaction was quite sombre,  probably brought on by wondering how those who were the most directly affected by 9/11 were feeling tonight and remembering the anger, hate and hurt that has grown since then – on all sides, directed towards so many.

Yet at the same time, I was deeply appreciative and respectful of the military elite that executed their mission with surgical precision and accuracy.  I truly wish we lived in a time where humanity had evolved beyond the need for wars, but clearly we haven’t.  So I understand the need for our military, I applaud you and thank you.  Honestly and truly.

And then there’s the writer in me … WHAT a story.  I mean, really.   I love examples of  tricky jobs done well and like so many others, am rabidly curious about the details.

Odd mix of emotions, for sure.  But about that uneasiness, where is it coming from?

I zeroed in on the ‘what happens next’ part.  If succumbing to worrying about the future or exacting further revenge are not the answers, then what is?

And that, I believe, is where it gets personal and your answer could be quite different from mine.   Here’s mine:

For the past few years I’ve been following a spiritual path that teaches (in highly simplified terms) that there are only two things: love and fear.  Love, in this context, comes from a higher, divine source and at least a glimmer of it – and often much more – can be found within all.  Fear is everything else.  No matter what thought, emotion or action I can imagine, I believe it springs from one of those two place.  So for me, what I now know – of which I was unclear when beginning this post – is that my job is to sidestep the fear, and focus on that glimmer of divine love – to believe it resides in all places, to believe only it is real, and to have the confidence in our collective ability to bring it forth.

Whew.  Glad I got that settled.

What’s your take on it all? What are your thoughts about how we can steer this crazy “the worlds are shifting” kind of time in the right direction?

Yes, those were the feelings and thoughts simmering and bubbling within me as I learned about the death of  Osama bin Laden…