Marti's Theory

Who I Want To Be

Posted on: January 5, 2013

So there I was, leaving Costco after a pretty great day.  I worked, I saw my kid, I had a wonderful massage from Denise LaBarre, took myself on a planned pre-birthday shopping spree and was feeling pretty good about life, my place on the planet, the new year and most everything else.

While pushing my cart towards the parking lot, I heard some noise and turned to see a trash can lid rolling around on the ground while a scraggly old dude quickly went through the can. I’m not sure whether he was looking for food or HI-5 recyclables, but I could tell he was trying to complete the search before getting chased away.

I wonder if he’s looking for food, I thought to myself.  Surveying my cart, I found mostly canned goods.  Do people who have to scavenge trash cans have can openers?  I had a great day and would have been happy to hand him a can of soup, if it had been a practical thing to do.

About that time I noticed my $5.00 roasted Costco chicken. I had a big container of tortilla soup in my fridge and knew that tossing some of the chicken in it would be great.  You know what I should do, I thought, I should just hand him this chicken and keep going.  I mean, really.  I have a lot.  Why not?  I thought about this as I pushed my cart towards where I thought I might have parked.  (I never remember).  The entire way I continued the internal discussion.  Maybe when I took my cart back, he’d still be there.  Or when I left, I could drive past the entrance and see if he was still there.  Why didn’t I just give him the damn chicken?

By this time, I was getting rather obsessive about it, I know.  I drove slowly past the entrance and predictably, he was nowhere in sight.

This post isn’t about chickens or scraggly old dudes.  It’s about the kind of person who would simply, reflexively, instinctively hand a roast chicken to someone who didn’t have food and never think twice about it – before, during or after.  It’s about the realization that I am not quite her.  But I want to be.

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5 Responses to "Who I Want To Be"

I want to be that person, too, Marti. Sometimes I’m close, sometimes not even. I feel like it’s more about the intention than the chicken. . . BUT it’s a good thing to hand over the chicken! One thing I trust—that our desire will get us there. Love and Light~

Exactly, exactly. Mahalo. And also – to get out of my head and just do it. It’s right, stop thinking, just “do” and let go.

Oh wow–I feel like a techno-boob because I just found your comment 30 seconds ago. Absolutely–get out of our heads. More than once I have failed to give some loose change or a bottle of water to a roadside person-in-need because my “dutiful” head told me I couldn’t stop and hold up traffic. And on a few of those occasions I have circled around and stopped the second time (which, being planned ahead, my head could not argue with). Mahalo for your great stories, and Happy New Year! ❤ ❤ ❤

You are almost her……just be her next time.

I just realized that the reason I call Lilly “my kid” is because of you.

That’s what my mom called me. I’m surprised I didn’t think my name was ThatKidofMine, because that’s how she always referred to me. And my mom totally rocked.

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