Marti's Theory

An Unused Skillset

Posted on: October 17, 2013

So this evening I attended a College and Career Fair held at a local K-8 school, which extended invitations to the high schools and other groups in our community.  There were a number of folks representing various aspects of UH Maui College, but the uniformed career reps (firemen, policemen, chefs) were the hit of the night.  Some things never change.  Too bad there were no professional ballerinas or princesses.  But I digress…

We UHMC people who represented a broad aspect of the college (as opposed to nursing, culinary and dental assisting) were banished, oops, I mean assigned to a break out room that a few of the parents accidentally wandered in to now and then.

Suffice to say: It was a slow evening.

Nevertheless, we did have some interest, mostly from parents who were thinking about a return to college for themselves. I mean, really, we don’t run across a lot of ten year olds who are looking forward to a degree in liberal arts.  So I had time to think about the whole thing.

Do you ever watch yourself from the outside and see something unexpected?  Well, out of boredom I did that and realized:

I have a strategic “soft sell” sales technique designed to hook people in without overtly appearing to do so. Further more – I’m really good at it.

Strange realization, for sure.

So I began to think about this further and remembered – I’ve always been a good sales person.

And since I am not in sales, that felt weird.  What is the implication?  Does it mean I’m manipulative?  Well … (truth be told) I kinda am.  Man, that’s an odd thing to admit about oneself.    Makes me wonder whether I have a flaw that should be corrected or a skill that should be better utilized.  I don’t know.  What do you think?

And while we’re at it … do you have any traits that can be either positive or negative, depending on the situation?  Just thought I’d ask…

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4 Responses to "An Unused Skillset"

Manipulation can be a positive…I made a living out of trying to manipulate felony offenders into thinking that they could lead a productive life. Some call it “cognitive intervention.”

Oh yes! One I notice frequently in myself is “detail orientation.” Attention to detail makes a huge difference in how many things turn out, but it can also tangle one up in a mass of unnecessary work. I’m “comfortable” in details and can easily hide amidst them.

A Course in Miracles says that everything in this world (the world of illusion)—which would include qualities such as “persuasiveness” or “manipulativeness,” depending on the context—can and will be expressed in the positive OR the negative. The ego strives to hijack whatever we think and do. Everything is vulnerable to the ego’s manipulation EXCEPT complete forgiveness.

Forewarned is forearmed. Sooooo, when you notice your gift for sales veers into the realm of negative manipulation, you choose again. And forgive yourself. When I notice my gift for detail veers into the realm of obsessiveness, I choose again. This is a major gift of living consciously—we have continual opportunities to refine our consciousness back up to the pure love essence by choosing again. ❤ ❤ ❤

Oh yes! One I notice frequently in myself is “detail orientation.” Attention to detail makes a huge difference in how many things turn out, but it can also tangle one up in a mass of unnecessary work. I’m “comfortable” in details and can easily hide amidst them.

A Course in Miracles says that everything in this world (the world of illusion)—which would include qualities such as “persuasiveness” or “manipulativeness,” depending on the context—can and will be expressed in the positive OR the negative. The ego strives to hijack whatever we think and do. Everything is vulnerable to the ego’s manipulation EXCEPT complete forgiveness.

Forewarned is forearmed. Sooooo, when you notice your gift for sales veers into the realm of negative manipulation, you choose again. And forgive yourself. When I notice my gift for detail veers into the realm of obsessiveness, I choose again. This is a major gift of living consciously—we have continual opportunities to refine our consciousness back up to the pure love essence by choosing again. ❤ ❤ ❤

In my PSY 100 classes, as an exercise in critical thinking, we talk about the evaluative bias of language. There are a number of words that mean the same thing as another word, but one has a negative connotation and the other a positive one. I would rather be called assertive than pushy. I am frugal, not cheap (or pake) 😛 I am detail oriented, not OCD 😛 😛 :P. So yes, I would say you are rather persuasive … not manipulative 🙂

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