Man, did anyone ever think we’d be here? I mean, really think so? But we are. I – a somewhat left leaning moderate type – have been freaking out on everything that’s been happening for awhile now, and it’s time to explain my own personal perspective.

Fact #1 about Marti Wukelic
I am the granddaughter of four refugee immigrants that I knew well, and with whom I spent a lot of my childhood. One set of grands were educated, came as married adults with a child and (I assume) had a little bit of $$ and maybe probably knew some English. The other set came separately – one as an orphaned youth along with his older brother, and the other as a teenaged only-daughter of peasant farmers who had a relative in America who could take her in. Neither of these grands were literate, had been to school or knew any English. Refugees/immigrants tend to hang out together, not because of a desire to segregate, but because their faulty language skills made interaction with Americans difficult. They could beyond learning basic words to follow the orders of their American bosses, but that was about it. Even as their language skills improved, they remained self-conscious of, and often embarrassed by their heavy accents. So they tended to “stay in their lane,” to borrow current jargon. Therefore, until I started school, nearly everyone in my life was either a Serbian immigrant (grandparents’ generation) or first generation American Serb (my parents’ generation).

Last week at an Orthodox church in Columbus, I had a wonderful chat with a Serbian woman, maybe 15 years younger than I am, who was a 2000 refugee from Yugoslavia (think: Slobodon Milosevic era). She and her husband first landed in one of the Dakotas (I forget which) for two weeks, and then central Ohio. We talked about how different it was for my grandparents than it was for her and her husband but – to my surprise – in many ways it was quite similar. Someday I’ll write about my family stories of Baba’s adventures with the English language. And I hope to learn more about my new friend’s experience.

Fact #2 about Marti Wukelic
I am 72 years old and due to a variety of serendipitous journeys and personal choices, I have spent the majority of my life close to people of all races and ethnicities. Not just “knowing someone who is ____,” I mean people who do not look like me or sound like me have been woven into the pattern of my life. Everything from my taste in music to relocating to Miami to Colorado to California and ultimately to Hawaii has created a colorful panapoly of folks who are important to me. White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Pacific Islanders … all comprise the people in my life – past and present. (side note: Black and Hispanic and Asian are VERY broad categories – each a catch-all for many unique individual cultures. Saying that so I don’t get lovingly scolded, lol)

From that vantage point, I have frequently, FREQUENTLY witnessed friends and acquaintances being treated differently because of their race or ethnicity. Should I say FREQUENTLY one more time, to get my point across? Please know I am not outwardly an activist – haven’t protested anything since I was in my 20s, and that was basically about nuclear power plants being on earthquake faultlines. Yes, I lean to the left, politically. But not always. I repeat – not always. There’s likely to be something in my beliefs that’ll either piss you off if you normally agree with me, or might pleasantly surprise you if you generally don’t.

So no matter what you believe, if you look at our current situation through the lens I’ve just presented, it might help you understand why I am so alarmed, heartbroken and upset about what is happening. (another side note: I just deleted a whole rant on late 1930’s Germany because it’s not the point of this post)

Fact #3 about Marti Wukelic
I am white. I look white, I “talk” white. I sound like what people think White Americans sound like. I have not in my life endured what my grandparent or my past/current/and probably future Black, Hispanic, Asian, Indigenous, etc friends have had to endure. Never. (side note #3: as a woman I’ve had to deal with some crap but not as much as those who came before me. Plus, making it as a female hotel restaurant manager in the 80s went a LONG way to learning to handle that, lol.)

So the point of this rambling post is simply hoping that you ask yourself this:

“Okay, that’s how Marti’s experience has shaped her. How has my experiences shaped me?”

Think about it.

And then, ask youself again, Only this time, go deeper.

Thanks for reading. Comments aren’t necessary; this is just for you to think about.